


This Is War

by TheRedGlass



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Ficlet, Natasha is a little shit, Oneshot, Prank Wars, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Prompt Fill, Tumblr Prompt, and, the boys fucked up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 11:32:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7572547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRedGlass/pseuds/TheRedGlass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A oneshot for the prompt “That was a perfect example of how not to do things.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Is War

Natasha slowly raised an eyebrow, taking in the scene before her. Tony, Clint, Steve, and Bucky were sprawled in various states of awkward flailing limbs around the floor of one of Tony’s larger workshops. All four men were covered in soot, and Steve and Bucky were additionally coated in some kind of bright green foamy substance. There were gobs of soft rubber stuck to the walls and something somewhere was still smoldering, she could smell it. What remained of a small machine off to the side gave a cough and then a spark and valiantly attempted to activate some mechanism one last time before it made a heaving noise and then died.

She could feel the guys’ eyes on her as she walked to the center of the room, but they stayed silent, and so did she, for the moment.

Excruciatingly slowly, she found and pulled out a chair - the one piece of surviving furniture in the room but nonetheless singed around the edges and probably permanently stained with a weird blue chalky material - flipped it around and sat on it backwards. She then very casually folded her hands and rested her chin on them, looking back and forth between the two sets of parties still in varying states of shock and disarray on the floor. “Gentleman,” she with an absurd and dangerous calmness. “This prank war of yours has gotten entirely out of hand.”

Tony seemed about to stay something but she stopped him with a look.

“In your reckless obsession, it would seem that some of my things have been caught in the crossfire.”

Clint looked guilty and Bucky and Steve exchanged a regretful glance.

“I simply cannot ignore that incident, I’m afraid.” She stood up again, slow and controlled, like a panther, and began to make her way back towards the door. In the doorway, she paused and turned and then looked back at them with a terrifying smile. “That was a perfect example of how not to do things,” she said sweetly. Then she turned back and sashayed out the door.

The four men watched her go in silence.

Until Bucky spoke.

“We’re all dead, aren’t we?”


End file.
